


The Christmas Gift

by peggin



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-15
Updated: 2011-06-15
Packaged: 2017-10-20 11:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/212111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peggin/pseuds/peggin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in a "Train? What train?" universe. Sometimes it's easier to see what you want to see than to see what's really there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Christmas Gift

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to [rhiannonhero](http://archiveofourown.org/users/rhiannonhero) for the beta!
> 
> Originally posted to [Noah Who?](http://noah-who.livejournal.com/18399.html) December 20, 2010.

When Lily greeted Luke and Reid at the door, she was a little appalled that Reid barely took the time to say "hello" before he clapped his hands and asked, "So, what's for dinner?"

 _God_ , Lily thought, _I can't believe this rude man is the person my son wants to be with_. But he _was_ the man Luke wanted to be with – at least for the time being – so she put a smile on her face and answered his question.

"Chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese."

"Seriously? For Christmas Eve dinner?" Reid turned to Luke and asked again, "Is she serious about that?"

"It's Natalie's birthday," Luke explained. "She gets to pick the dinner."

Reid frowned. "You didn't tell me it was Natalie's birthday. I would've got her something."

"Don't worry," Luke told him. "I got an extra present and put your name on it. You gave her a junior microscope, the kind that comes with some pre-made slides, but where she can also make her own slides to look at bacteria and stuff. She loved it."

"That _is_ a good present," Reid said, "but that's not the point. I should've bought her something myself."

"But you wouldn't have," Luke smiled at him. "You would've wanted to, but you would have forgotten. You're terrible with birthdays."

For a moment, Lily thought it looked like Reid might argue the point, but then apparently something important occurred to him. "Wait, if it's Natalie's birthday, does that mean there's going to be birthday cake?"

"Of course!" Luke replied, the smile never leaving his face. "It wouldn't be much of a birthday celebration without cake!"

Lily had to admit, seeing Luke smile like that warmed her heart. She hadn't spent much time with Reid; it always seemed like he had to work whenever there was a family get-together, so she really hadn't had very many opportunities to see Luke and Reid interact. While Luke had told her that he was happy with Reid, she hadn't really had the chance to see it for herself. If Luke's smile was anything to go by, he was telling her the truth. Reid seemed to bring out the joy in him. Even if she couldn't understand how this cold, rude man could possibly make her son happy, as long as he continued to do so, Lily was willing to put up with him.

Then Natalie and Ethan came running into the room and ran right over to Reid. Lily didn't get to hear what he said to them because Luke took that moment to come over to talk to her, but Lily could tell that they both really liked him. It seemed like he was talking to them like they were adults... or maybe like he was a kid. Lily wasn't sure which, but he definitely wasn't speaking down to them the way many other adults would have – and, as far as Lily could tell, the way it seemed that Reid spoke to most adults -- and it was obvious that they appreciated it.

Very little that happened the rest of the evening went the way Lily would have expected.

To start with, she didn't think she'd ever seen a grown man enjoy chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, and birthday cake quite as much as Reid did.

Then, after dinner was over, when Faith couldn't leave fast enough to go see Parker and Holden had to go up to the farm to check on the animals, Lily assumed Reid would have had enough of Snyder family fun and that he would give some excuse for leaving as well, but he seemed in no hurry to go anywhere. Lily found it even more surprising when Natalie announced that they were going to watch a Christmas movie, and everyone had to watch it with her because it was _her birthday_ , and Reid simply settled down on the sofa and made himself comfortable.

Lily told Natalie that she should pick the movie, but Natalie seemed very interested in making sure Reid approved of her choice. She started calling out the names of the movies she had on DVD. "Let's see; we could watch _Frosty the Snowman_... or _Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer_... or _Santa Claus is Coming to Town_." Natalie glanced over at Reid after each one, apparently looking for his reaction and seeming a little disappointed when he failed to give one.

Luke sat down on the couch next to Reid and nudged him with his elbow. "Will you stop being such a Grinch? Natalie wants your opinion."

For a moment Reid had an expression on his face that reminded Lily of a deer caught in the headlights, and she couldn't help but wonder if maybe Reid had never seen any of these movies. Then he gave Luke a smile that reminded her of Ethan when he was caught doing something he shouldn't.

"The Grinch," Reid said, turning to face Luke. "I do like the Grinch... although I never understood why they had to ruin it at the end by having him give everything back."

Natalie and Ethan both thought that was hilarious, and Luke laughed as he slapped Reid on his chest, simply saying, "Reid!" before getting up and pulling one of the boxes from Natalie's hands. "We're going to watch _The Year Without a Santa Claus_ ," Luke announced. "I know it's Natalie's favorite, and you," Luke turned and smiled at Reid, "will love the Miser brothers."

It always amazed Lily how Luke did that. She knew if she had told the kids which movie they were going to watch, they both would have protested; they would have argued with her even if the movie she picked was the one they most wanted to see. But somehow, when Luke did it, they were perfectly happy to watch whatever movie their big brother had chosen.

After Luke put the disk in the DVD player, he sat down on the sofa next to Reid. Natalie settled herself down on the opposite end of the sofa and Ethan climbed up on Lily's lap.

A few minutes into the movie, Lily glanced over at Luke and Reid and was momentarily surprised by what she saw. Luke was slouched down next to Reid, his head on Reid's shoulder. He had his hand on Reid's chest and, as Lily watched, she saw Reid move his hand over to Luke's and thread their fingers together, then turn his head to press a kiss to Luke's temple, pausing long enough to inhale Luke's scent before turning his attention back to the TV screen.

It took Lily a moment to realize why that had surprised her: in the three years Luke had been with Noah, she couldn't remember ever seeing the two of them in a similar position. Luke just looked so comfortable with Reid, so content, his face glowing with something that Lily could only think to call bliss.

For so long, she had though Noah was the right guy for Luke, she'd even held out hope that maybe this thing with Reid was just temporary and that Luke would one day work things out with Noah. But seeing Luke like that with Reid, she knew that was never going to happen. What's more, she couldn't imagine ever wishing for it again.

It occurred to her that maybe she'd never really _seen_ Luke and Noah at all. Maybe it had been easier for her to see what she wanted to see – what she expected to see – than to see the truth that had actually been in front of her.

She thought back to how she'd acted when Luke first came out, and she still felt ashamed of herself for it. She had never thought of herself as homophobic; she worked with plenty of gay people both at the TV station and at the hotel, and she'd never had any problems with any of them. In fact, she'd always felt indignant on their behalf whenever they had to deal with ridicule and discrimination.

But when it came to her own son, she hadn't been able to accept it. Hadn't been able to handle the thought that he, too, might face that kind of ridicule and discrimination. So, when Luke had come out to her and Holden, she had wanted so badly for it not to be true that she'd convinced herself she could wish it away.

When Damian had offered the possibility that maybe all Luke needed was some counseling, Lily had jumped at the idea that Luke might just be confused; that he wasn't really gay at all. She had been so ready to send him away to that camp where they would try to "fix" him. As if there was something wrong with him that needed to be fixed! She could admit now that she hadn't even seen the irony at the time... in her intense desire to keep her son safe from the kind of ridicule and discrimination he would face if he were gay, she had ended up causing him the very pain she had wanted so desperately to protect him from.

Once she'd realized how wrong she had been, and that the best thing she could do for Luke was to love him and accept him for exactly the wonderful young man he was, she had become determined to make sure he knew how much she supported him in every possible way.

The one thing Lily had always wanted most for Luke – for all her children – was their happiness. She had always imagined a future for Luke where he would meet a nice young lady, someone who would love him and treat him well, someone he could build a life with and live out the "happily ever after" she'd always read about in fairy tales. Luke being gay meant changing the "young lady" part to "young man", but otherwise, Lily's hopes for him remained the same.

The first time Lily had heard the name "Noah Mayer" and realized that Luke had feelings for him, she had cast him in the role she'd created. She'd wanted so badly for Noah to be all those things for Luke that she hadn't let herself see anything else.

Noah had done some good things for Luke. Lily had no doubt that, when Luke was paralyzed and had all but given up on trying to learn to walk again, it had been Noah, more than anything, that had given Luke the desire to push himself to get out of that wheelchair.

Then there was that terrible business of Luke's friend dying of a drug overdose. Luke had become so obsessed with getting to the bottom of how it had happened that he broke into that boy Elwood's dorm room. Lily was convinced that Luke would have gone to jail for that if Noah hadn't been there to talk him into apologizing.

It occurred to Lily now, as she watched her son snuggled up against a man who seemed to make him happy, that she had wanted so badly for Noah to be the wonderful partner her son deserved that she had allowed herself to see just the moments that fit that image, while minimizing or outright ignoring so many others. She had told herself that Noah's decision to marry Ameera was a good thing; that his ability to show that much consideration for a woman he barely knew proved him to be a kind and thoughtful young man. There was a part of her that still believed that. But there had always been another part of her, a part that she had previously dismissed, that wondered how Noah could ask Luke to stand there and watch the man he loved exchange vows with someone else. That hardly showed very much consideration for her son.

Then there was the way Noah had treated Luke after the accident that had left him blind. She had made so many allowances for his behavior, all the time telling herself they had to be patient, that none of them could even begin to imagine how awful it must be to go through something like that. And if there had been a few fleeting moments when the thought had occurred to her that, in the worst times in a person's life, they should want the people they love closer to them, not farther away, she'd pushed those thoughts aside, telling herself it wasn't charitable to think like that. Now she could no longer deny that "charity" wasn't the entire reason for her response. It had also been because it was easier to dismiss the things that didn't fit with the picture she wanted to see than it was to admit she'd misjudged a young man she had invited into her family and treated as practically another son.

She could see the truth a little more clearly now. She'd been so determined to prove she supported Luke's choices, including his choice of a boyfriend, that she hadn't allowed herself to see the man Noah truly was. It took seeing – really _seeing_ – Luke with a man who actually did make him happy, who _was_ everything Lily wanted for her son, before she realized how wrong she had always been about Noah.

Lily found herself lost in thought for quite a while. It wasn't until Ethan tugged on her shirt and told her they needed to put out cookies for Santa that she realized the movie was over.

Luke and Reid stood up from the couch and Luke announced that he was going to spend the night at Reid's place. Natalie and Ethan both protested, insisting that their brother had to stay so that he'd be able to wake up with them on Christmas morning. Luke was just in the middle of trying to reassure them that he'd come back first thing in the morning, when Lily found herself interrupting him.

"Why don't the two of you stay here tonight?"

Natalie and Ethan both seemed delighted at that idea, and Luke seemed really happy that Lily would extend the invitation.

Reid didn't say anything, but he appeared a little skeptical.

"Please, Reid," Lily said. "Stay here tonight. I know the kids would love it if you were here for breakfast in the morning. And it would make me happy, too."

Luke smiled and nudged Reid, saying, "I think it's a great idea."

Reid still seemed like he wasn't quite sure, but then Natalie and Ethan both started saying, "Stay, stay, stay!" and a smile slowly spread across Reid's face. "Okay, okay, I'll stay," Reid said, then he turned to Ethan and asked, "Did someone say something about leaving cookies for Santa?"

Lily looked on with amusement as Ethan grabbed Reid's hand and pulled him off towards the kitchen and Natalie trailed them after them saying _someone_ had to supervise to make sure they didn't eat all the cookies. She then turned to Luke and was delighted by the beautiful smile on his face.

"Thank you, Mom," he said. "It really means a lot to me that you asked him to stay."

Lily brought her hand up, as if to brush some nonexistent lint off of Luke's shoulder. "I know it does, baby. And I know these last few months I haven't exactly been as supportive as I could have been about your relationship with Reid, but I want you to know, the only thing that matters to me is that you're happy."

"I am, Mom," Luke replied. "Reid makes me happy. The happiest I've ever been."

"I think I'm starting to get that," Lily told him. "I guess that means, from now on, he's part of our family. Whether he likes it or not."

Luke's forehead wrinkled, but the smile never left his face. "Why wouldn't he like it?"

"Because it means he's expected to join us tomorrow for dinner at the farm. And he'll be expected at every other family dinner we have from now on. But, sweetie? Could you let him know I'd appreciate it if he'd at least _try_ not to insult more than half the people there?"

Luke laughed, and it was the most beautiful sound Lily could remember hearing in a long while.


End file.
